Birthday Anxiety

Today was my daughter’s first birthday. We had a wonderful small and intimate party here at our house with my husband and his brother, and one close friend of ours. I also called home and did a videochat with the family and it was wonderful to see everyone’s faces on the screen at once while singing happy birthday and enjoying whatever S did.

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Holiday Alone Advice

The holidays are fast approaching and how I’ll be spending them came to mind. Although not much will change for me with how I keep in touch with family, I realize most of my friends and family back home might be experiencing their first holiday alone. Perhaps I can offer some insight into how to celebrate the holidays apart from loved ones.

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Motherhood

Motherhood I have always dreamed of since childhood Motherhood was once what I thought might never happen Motherhood I have now entered and yet Motherhood is not what I envisioned Motherhood isn’t the one of my dreams Motherhood came crashing down on me unexpectedly Motherhood that wasn’t ready for a preemie Motherhood that has been dotted with anxiety Motherhood during a pandemic Motherhood with limited interaction Motherhood felt with moments of isolation Motherhood filled with…

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Coronavirus Lockdown

I should have actually written this during the lockdown, but was curious about what was waiting for us upon our return to Chengdu. My family and my friend who came with us for the Lunar New Year all got stuck in the village when the lockdown came into effect. For two weeks, no one was allowed to go anywhere including leaving the village.

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Embodying Health

For over the past month, I’ve been at battle with myself and my habits in my head. Luckily, I learned my sister was about to embark on a new health journey and I decided to join in. My current effort in the first week, I failed on five and a half days. My first two and a half days I did awesome , minus not exercising. Here I am sitting down after having eaten three…

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Making Progress

Lately, I’ve had a demon that is eating me from the inside out. That negative voice that just pulls us apart piece by piece. I originally thought that I would be able to focus on some things I wanted to work on for myself, like financial goals, health goals and exercise goals once my daughter was about five or six months old.

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A New Star

I’ve chosen to think that a new star has graced the sky tonight. I’m not sure I will be able to see it here in the city, but the thought should offer some solace. A candle has finally burnt out and its scent still lingers. There are a thousand metaphors I could create and yet they all mean the same in the end: today we said goodbye.

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